Surviving Your First Sorority Formal

One part of sorority life that is a major plus for a lot of girls is the fact that they get to go to what are called Formals. They are reminiscent of your high school dances but without the teacher chaperones.

When it comes to formals there are often themes. These themes determine what you wear and can range from a beach party to masquerade. The food, venue, drinks and attire will all reflect what the announced theme is.
Some popular themes include:

• Under the Sea
• Rock n Roll
• Night in Venice
• Old South
• Your Wildest Dreams

When it comes to formals there are some important things to remember.

1. Think seriously about your date. You'll spend all or most of your night with this person and if they start acting irresponsibly then you will most likely be held responsible for their actions. Most chapters say if your date is getting removed then so are you and often, after being removed, you will not be let back in.
2. Don't be afraid to bring a friend. Sometimes having a friend there is better than having a significant other or potential hook up. Also, don't be afraid to bring non-Greek friends or friends from other chapters. If you think that person will make your night better then feel free to bring them along.
3. Don't feel like you are required to wear floor length formal gowns. The only reason to wear especially dressy clothing is if it directly correlates to your theme and if you can afford it. It's always more fun to dress to the theme than spend $100+ on a dress you may not wear again.
4. Wear or bring comfortable shoes. It's great to wear those adorable new heels but getting on and off the bus may end badly if you can't walk in them. It is also a possibility that there will not be any chairs to rest your feet in so it is ideal to wear or at least bring shoes you can dance and walk in comfortably.
5. Don't risk getting kicked out by drinking when underage. This goes for pre-gaming too. Some girls may get together, drink and get ready before the formal but if your chapter's Risk Management chair has said no pre-gaming that puts these girls at risk of not getting to go at all. At many formals there are normally strict rules for alcohol and anyone underage can be kicked out which may result in a judicial hearing and major consequences.
6. Eat. The food that your Social Events chair chose to be catered is probably delicious and expensive. Plus, this is the only food you'll have access to for probably 3 to 5 hours and you may not feel like going to dinner at 11 pm after formal is over.
7. Make plans for after formal. Sometimes the most fun you have the night of formal is what you do after. After my last spring formal one of my friends had the idea of watching movies with our dates in the chapter room. It was one of the best times from the formals I've been to.

What Happens When Something Isn't Right...

Every once in awhile, we agree to do something or join something and then think "Maybe this isn't for me..." Well, like everything else, sometimes that's how people begin to feel about Greek Life, as much as we hate to admit it.

Out of every pledge class there are some girls who decide they don't click with their new sisters, they don't want to be apart of the Greek community, or their dues are just too much. Whatever their reason, they think they may want to drop their sorority entirely.

If you start thinking that Greek life may not be for you or you can't afford it I recommend you take the following steps.:
1. If  you are close with any of the girls in your sorority talk to them about your thoughts and feelings. They could be able to help you and if they can't then you will have at least given them some warning about your potential decision. I emphasize talking to them even if there's no chance of you changing your mind, how would you feel if you were continuing your day-to-day life and one of your best friends just stopped coming around?
2. Talk to your organization's president or membership chairman. They might be able to ease your fears or help you work out some of the issues you may be facing.
3. If money is part of or the main problem, talk to your chapter's treasurer. She may be able to work out a plan with you so you do not have to drop. Be sure to talk to her before you are way behind in dues. If you are struggling to meet the first month but get it worked out that's okay, but if the struggle is a month to month thing then it's best to meet with her sooner rather than later.

If after these steps you still feel that you don't belong then you should make your own decision. Below I have a couple of sites that give you some more insight into dropping and the experiences of other girls who have had the same feelings.

HerCampus: Pros and Cons of Dropping Out of a Sorority

The Eighty8: My Sorority Experience

The Odyssey Online: If You're Thinking About Dropping Your Sorority, Don't Give Up Just Yet

Big/Little Week!!!!

Big/Little week is a very exciting time for everyone in the chapter. The new members are receiving their Bigs,  some girls are finally getting to claim their Littles and older members are adding new members to their sorority family.
At the beginning of Big/Little week the Bigs will leave notes and gifts for their Littles. The notes will include hints to the Big's identity so the Little can try to guess, however, some Bigs will toss in a few false clues in order to throw off their Little if they think she is getting too close to guessing her identity. These false hints are all in good fun and are typically trivial like "I have brown hair" when the Big actually has blonde hair.
As for the gifts, each chapter and "family" has their own traditions but there are a few gifts that most girls receive. Below are some images of different gifts.



Alpha Xi Delta Big/Little Canvas
 

Family Photo Frames

Kappa Delta decorated letters

At the end of the week the Littles finally get to find out who their big is and the rest of the chapter gets to welcome the new members into their families. Reveal can be done in a number of ways so to show you a couple of different reveal methods I included some videos of different reveals from different chapters.

Personally, this post is the most exciting for me because this Fall I am (hopefully) getting a Little!! I can't wait and I've already been thinking about gifts!

Recruitment: Day 3 (Preference)

This is finally your last day of Formal Recruitment! Not long after this round you'll find out if you got a bid. Following the pattern I mentioned in my last post, this round is much more serious than the previous two. During Preference, or Pref, you will talk with another member of the chapter and there's a good chance it'll be someone you already talked to during recruitment. Most Preference rounds also include a ceremony in which women talk about what their chapter means to them, this is a very emotional experience and it's possible you'll notice some of the girls crying. It's also possible that you will cry, it's not uncommon for potential new members to become emotional during Preference, especially during the ceremony at their first choice house.

I suggest that you look very nice today. It's ideal to wear a dress, heels, and jewelry. If you aren't comfortable in heels feel free to wear nice flats but I suggest avoiding sandals. Below are some examples of outfits, you may notice all of them are colorful outfits. This is because chapter women often wear black or navy dresses so wearing dark colored dresses may make you blend in with them. If you are most comfortable in a dark colored dress feel free to wear what you feel most confidant in.

Preference 1 by Taryn-Wilkins

Preference 2 by Taryn-Wilkins

Preference 3 by Taryn-Wilkins

Recruitment: Day 2 (Philanthropy)

After getting some much needed rest you'll come back to recruitment for Day 2, or Philanthropy Day! This round is a little bit more serious because you will be learning about each chapter's philanthropy, or charity. As a member of Greek life a huge part of your activities will be to raise money or donate time to a cause. Most Greek chapters have at least one official philanthropy as chosen by the national headquarters. Some chapters have more, like two or three organizations they help. Often, during this round of recruitment the women of each chapter will watch a video with you and you'll participate in a small activity such as making tie-blankets to donate or create goodie bags of candy for cancer patients going through chemotherapy. This day calls for less walking than Round 1 but you will still be walking from house to house so it's probably still a good idea to wear shoes you are comfortable in.

For Round 2 you want to look slightly nicer than the day before, I used the example "what you would wear to a high school graduation". It probably brings to mind sundresses, maxi skirts, pretty jewelry and possibly heels or wedges. Once again, I made examples of outfits on polyvore that are good starting points for this round however I cannot stress enough that you should be yourself, which means dress like you would. If you do not like pastels and prefer neon colors or jewel tones or black clothing then wear what you are comfortable in.

Philanthropy night 1 by Taryn-Wilkins

Philanthropy night 2 by Taryn-Wilkins

Philanthropy night 3 by Taryn-Wilkins

Recruitment: Day 1 (House Tours or Open House)

Welcome to your first round of sorority recruitment! The first round is typically house tours. This is a really fun, relaxed round. You may be nervous but the best thing you can do is relax and be yourself, it will all work out the way it's supposed to that way! One of the main questions girls typically have before and during recruitment is what to wear so my next few posts will cover wardrobe and what to expect from each round.

For house tours you want to be cute, but very comfortable. This is a good round to wear a nice pair of shorts, cute top, and flats or sandals. Feel free to add in some jewelry to dress up the outfit! This is an especially important round to be comfortable because you will be visiting ALL of the chapters which could call for a lot of walking along with touring each house. This may mean going up and down stairs. Below I have examples of outfits I made on polyvore, feel free to use these as inspiration in planning your outfit.

During this round you will have a brief time with each chapter during which you'll meet a few of the women and will be shown around the house. You'll learn about different rooms and what the chapter uses those rooms for. These houses are often large and quite beautiful but this will require lots and lots of walking so make sure you wear comfortable shoes. This is also when you will make your first impression so you don't want to be the girl who complained about her feet hurting the whole time.

House tours 3 by Taryn-Wilkins

House tours 2 by Taryn-Wilkins

House Tours 1 by Taryn-Wilkins

Pre-recruitment preparation

Before recruitment you will probably get to go to various events to meet a few women from each chapter, ask questions and get ready for recruitment. There are a few things to know coming into this exciting new experience!

The first thing we will talk about is your recruitment counselors. Each school has some form of a recruitment counselor even though they may be called Rho Chis or Gamma Chis. These are women that are members of chapters on campus but disaffiliated from their chapter to help each potential new member find theirs! You can talk to your recruitment counselor about anything, from classes, values, and day-to-day troubles to what to wear each day. They are your best resource during recruitment.

Next we will talk about how recruitment is run. Each day the potential new member will receive a list of "parties" they will attend from their recruitment counselor. After all of the parties for that day the potential new member will rank the chapters by her preference. The chapters will also rank the girls they met that day. This is called "mutual selection". This determines what parties the potential new member is invited back to. At the end of the last round when the potential new member ranks the chapters she visited that day she also agrees to what is called the MRABA, or the Membership Recruitment Acceptance Binding Agreement. This may sound like a scary contract that is going to mean huge changes but, it's not. The MRABA says: 

       the chapters or chapter the potential new member lists that she will accept invitations to join from can not be changed after submitted.

       If the potential new member does not receive an invitation she is still open to continuous open bidding

      If the potential new member does receive an invitation but declines it she can not pledge a National Panhellenic Conference organization for one calendar year

       The potential new member is not required to finish her selections if she decides that sorority life is not for her.

See? That isn't nearly as bad as the title leads it to be. If you have any questions feel free to ask facilitators for more information.

Sorority recruitment is an excellent experience for women of all backgrounds, I encourage anyone interested to look into it!

Feel free to click the link below for a exact break down of the MRABA as done by the National Panhellenic Conference Office.
Decoding the MRABA

Welcome!

Hello, and welcome to Bids and Bigs, your guide to all things sorority at a D2 school! My name is Taryn Wilkins, I am now a sophomore at Washburn University. I am majoring in Public Relations with a minor in psychology. Before I went through recruitment I researched as much as I could to figure out what to expect but all I could find was what to expect from D1 schools, especially in the SEC. I decided that I was going to do something about it. So, I'm going to tell you all you need to know about going through recruitment at a small D2 school, like Washburn and what to expect from a small Greek community. Feel free to comment or post questions, I will do my best to answer all.